I'm very honored to have Angel Martinez on the blog today talking about a very important topic and her book Restoration.
Hi V.S.! Thank you for inviting me to your blog for Day 8 of the Restoration Blog Tour.
For anyone just joining us – this is not your usual Angel Martinez adventure story, and is not a happy, fluffy story. This is a story about a couple’s struggle to recover from sexual assault. For many of these posts, I’ve taken some time to debunk the myths about male rape. Today, though, I want to look at support for men who have survived rape.
It’s a horrible thing, but so much in our social makeup encourages men to stay silent about rape. This is, of course, what the rapist wants, and only benefits the criminal. But it can be very difficult for men to share what has happened. There is pressure to stay silent and therefore stay strong. Some men take years to begin to talk about what happened.
From the online support site Pandora’s Aquarium:
· You are NOT alone.
It is estimated that 1 in 6 men are survivors of sexual violence.
· You are NOT to blame.
Male survivors often feel responsible for their assault / abuse or that they should have been "stronger" and able to stop it. Sexual assault is not about physical strength; it is about power.
· It's okay to hurt, cry, and ask for help.
In our society we're told that "boys don't cry". We believe that male survivors need to be able to express the pain they are feeling, and that reaching out to other survivors is a show of strength.
Like the site listed about, there are online support site where you can interact with other survivors and find support anonymously if you feel you’re not ready to talk to someone in person.
If you have been assaulted, please reach out. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Other Resources for Male Surviviors:
Male Survivor: A comprehensive site on male victimization, including a message board and healing weekends of recovery
Menweb: Male child sexual abuse
Hope for Healing: Listing of support forums and survivor groups
If you are in crisis and need someone to talk to, or if you need advice:
Male Rape Support Association: 07932 898274
AMSOSA: 0845 4309371
Childline (Under 18): 0800 1111
Men's Advice Line - 0808 801 0327 (For men in abusive relationship)
RAINN: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673) (for male and female survivors)
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-888-7HELPLINE (for men and women)
Men’s Domestic Violence Helpline: 08 9223 1199
V.S. Morgan has lived all over the US but calls Minnesota her home now. Her family includes her hubby, son, and a menagerie of pets.